The Mistress (mistress_sama) wrote in 1single_sin,
The Mistress

Without you - Chapter 3

Title :: Without you
Author :: The Mistress mistress_sama
Pairing :: KaoruxKyo
Rating :: R due to graphic content, maybe NC17 later on but it hasn’t been decided yet.
Summary :: Kaoru was killed in a car accident and Kyo is left to try and piece his life back together.
Comments :: I don’t own them blah blah blah no matter how much I wish I did… But yeah. This just popped into my head one day while listening to ‘Taking over me’ by Evanescence. Umm…yeah I hope you guys like it…and I hope it works out how I envision it in my mind. No beta this time, and the lyrics are from My Immortal by Evanescence.

Chapter 3

The rest of his night and most of the next day was spent tending to and taking care of the little vocalist who had always been one of the strong ones, at least after he and their guitarist had finally given into the fact and accepted it when even everyone else knew and could tell. But it killed him to see him so broken, even more broken than he had been when they first met. Kyo had always tried to hide it, using his lyrics to express himself and it was something that he did well. Using words to no one in particular while ending up speaking to the world. But he could always read into those lyrics, past the vulgar language and into the heart of where they came from, why they were spoken. Through the years everyone had their moments of weakness; Die had his anorexia, Kaoru his breakdowns from stress, Shinya his self-consciousness, and even he had his moments where he had been going through a hard time. While they had always tried to hide it, there was at least one member, or even a fan, whom had taken notice and they had all worked together to put the pieces back together. But Kyo had never let anyone really help him in that way, only Kaoru could, rarely if ever before they were together and no body knew what really went on afterwards. But now was that time. The time where they all worked together to help Kyo put his own pieces back together. After the accident they had done it as well, and after a few months Kyo had been okay. But now Toshiya didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t know if he really believed that Kaoru was trying to get in contact with Kyo from beyond the grave, or if it was all in the ex-vocalists mind due to the stress of the up and coming date that they all personally dreaded.

What was left of the rock band Dir en Grey was sitting in his living room, well, minus one. Toshiya having forced Kyo to go stay with his sister for a few days so she could look after him while they figured this out. While neither Die nor Shinya had been told what was going on yet, both could tell that something was very wrong. They could see it in the way Toshiya moved, how he had a perplexed look on his face and didn’t say much. They both had only been there ten minutes but were already fidgeting with nervousness; even around their cups of tea. When they were all sitting down in the living room, the guitarist and drummer looking at each other and seeming to have a silent conversation just with their eyes.

“What’s going on, Toshiya?” Die was the first to speak, his now brown hair falling around his face and leaning forward on the small couch that he shared with the thin drummer. He could see the weariness that accompanied the bassist, could feel the heaviness that permeated the air around them.

Taking a deep breath the bassist began to explain.


These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Pale limbs moved restlessly; moonlight almost seeming to reflect of the skin as a light sheen of sweat covered his entire body as the dark world that had become his dreams overtook him. Sheets were tangled around lithe legs, shirt halfway up his chest as he moved once more and rolled onto his other side in attempt to wake up. But he couldn’t.

It was dark. Cold. He was in nothing but an oversized shirt that came down to his thighs. Arms wrapped around his thin body, much thinner than it had been before, trying to keep in any amount of warmth that he could. But the cold just seemed to come through no matter what. He could swear he felt cold fingers wrap around his limbs, his ankles and his wrists. Shaking his head he kept walking. The fingers grew more tangible, and it became harder to walk, became harder to keep his hands against his chest. They were pulling, wrapping their cold around him and pulling. He was walking in water, unable to see a thing but feeling the ice-cold water over his toes and almost to his ankles. He wanted out. He wanted out of this place.

The fingers tightened, unable to hold his hands to his chest any longer his arms were pulled out to the sides, held by the fingers he wasn’t able to get away from. He stopped walking. Pulled back. Pulled down. Back hitting water, the water his feet had been submerged in. Now he was in it. Arms and legs held down. Unable to get out. Unable to get away. Panic gripped him, gripped his heart tightly. His chest rose and fell in quick breaths, but he could see something. Something very small so far away. It was light. Above him there was light and he could see it. Please… He tried to say, lips forming the word but no sound coming out. Not his voice, they couldn’t have taken his voice. The light was brighter, there was someone there. Someone he knew. Kaoru…Kaoru! But his voice was really gone. The cold fingers tightened, feeling like branches over his wrist. Tree creatures. Kaoru was reaching out to him. His hand. It seemed so close but still so far away. There were more tree fingers. Pulling and ripping at his shirt. Baring his body to the light. To his Kaoru. Shirt was ripped, hanging in threads over his sides and arms, wet. Kaoru! But he couldn’t hear him. He could see his face, see his smile and his outstretched hand. Calling him. Beckoning him. The fingers were on his chest. Scratching. Pulling. Ripping. He was bleeding. He knew that feeling. Knew the feeling of blood running over his skin. But this time he couldn’t stand it. Even his blood was cold. The fingers made it cold. Made it unbearable. They were digging into his skin now. Digging deep. Searching. Searching for something. He knew. His heart. They wanted his heart. But Kaoru was so close. If he could only. But he couldn’t. The fingers were around his heart. Pulling. Pulling.

“Kaoru!!” Ragged voice tore through the apartment, body spread out on the bed with back arched. His throat hurt. He could feel and it was warm here. His eyes were open but he couldn’t see. He felt as if he couldn’t see. It was too dark but he knew he wasn’t asleep any longer. Kaoru was gone. Pulled away like his heart had been pulled out. Slowly Kyo regained his sight, eyes blinking frantically before he pushed himself off the bed in search for the switch to his bedroom light. Within seconds the artificial illumination filled the room, and as he looked over his bed he saw that the sheets were wet. He had been sweating, looking down to himself there was blood on his chest and Kyo’s hands frantically searched to make sure that his heart was still inside his chest; too out of it for rational thought.

Chest still heaving, lungs still fighting for breath, it was then that tears started to run down his cheeks, back slumping against the wall and he slid down it. Another scream tore through the apartment, through his body. Only this time it wasn’t a name, just pure agony. There was no yearning, only pain as small body curled up on the floor and arms moved to cover his head. To protect himself.

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.